in case i have forgotten to mention, i live with a huge family...there are 8 people plus the domestique (or maid) which makes 9 plus let's not forget the countless neighborhood children that are always hanging out in my house and the millions of cousins who show up and end up staying for days at a time...at any given time there can be up to 20 people running around, most of whom i don't even understand their relation to the family...some of the other PCTs have families with a husband, 2 wives, and 20-30 kids, all living under the same roof!...
so exactly how lives in my house?...ok here we go...my host mom has been married to my host dad who i have yet to meet cause he is in Cote d'Ivoire working for the United Nations since 1985...the twins paula and paulette were born two years before they got married...then gaston, their first son comes next, followed by yoland, emmanual, and bill...now the twins as well as gaston live in cotonou...i don't know exactly what they do or if they all live together but they come home on the weekends...yoland who just celebrated her 21st birthday stays at home...she has a learning disability which has prevented her from going beyond the 3rd grade...she has her everyday chores like cleaning the dishes or doing laundry...sometimes she will find me and talk at speeds i never thought imaginable with hand gestures and all...she seems so passionate about whatever it is she's talking about but i can't understand a single thing she says...i have explained to her that she needs to slow down, that i am learning french now and that sometimes i don't understand her...she will always laugh at that and then continue her mile-a-minute monologue as if i hadn't said i word...i just hold her hand and smile a lot...
emmanual is a young 17 year old boy who is always asking me questions...we have sat together many nights under my gazebo passing back and forth the dictionary in order to have a conversation…
and the youngest is bill... he's a very quiet kid who loves american hip hop and has posters all over his bedroom wall of 50 cent, lil wayne, etc and some basketball players...
then there's antoinette, the domestique (maid)...
my host mom tells me that in africa if a family can afford it they will take in a child and raise them as a domestique ...they do all the housework - cooking, cleaning, sometimes food shopping ...our domestique has been living working here since she was 6 years old - she's now 16...the only time i've ever seen her out of the house other then food shopping is when she goes to church...she can't read or write and has never been to school...i mentioned once the word "asia" and she had no idea what i was talking about...her world is confined to the walls of this house and maybe some parts of Porto Novo and her village...i started to feel bad for her...here is a strong young woman who has worked hard all her life but knows nothing of the outside world...she will continue to work for the family until she gets married and starts her own family...but why should i feel bad for her just because i couldn't be happy in her shoes...maybe she's happy where she is...she has a roof over her head, food in her stomach and clothes on her back...what else does she really need?...i found myself struggling between letting it go or wanting to sit her down and teach her things...who was i to make that determination without even thinking about asking her...they say education will set you free...they also say that knowledge is a burden...maybe she is better off in her ignorance than knowing about the world that we know today...
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