identity crisis...

how many times in a person's life could they have an identity crisis?...1, 5, 20, everyday?...i knew about this before even arriving...i knew it would happen to me...i kept reminding myself over and over again...they warned us - they will call you YOVO...but saying it and living it are two different things...

it didn't really hit me until i was on the streets of cotonou, benin and a kid ran by yelling "yovo, yovo"...i've considered myself brown my whole life...to me latino = brown (neither white nor black but in between)...in america, i'm considered brown...during my travels in europe, people asked me if i was brown or black...for ukraine, i was definitely black, even african...there were even moments where i stopped dead in my tracks at being addressed as the n-word...YEAH!...its almost impossible to fathom but it happened on a weekly if not daily basis...

each culture views the color of one's skin differently...from my father calling me dark to the children in school questioning why i wasn't white to seeing bewildered looks on people faces as they try to figure out how to categories me, my identity has always caused confusion...

however for the first time in my life i am considered white...once again, my identity has come into question...or rather there is no question: whether i like it or not, i am a "yovo" in benin...